Principal Daddy Read online

  When he was done, I turned around to his grandfather who had been playing with the train while he spoke with me. The train was about to go under one of the bridges and he was sounding the whistle.

  "Granddad! I wanted to do that!" My son declared to my father who shook his head.

  "You snooze, you loose, son." My father said as my son positioned himself to press the trains whistle for the next bridge.

  "Do you want a coffee or a tea?" My mother asked from behind me and closing the door again on the train set and its two controllers, I turned to her. "I'd love one." I said.

  My mother made us both cups of tea and we sat down at the beat up old table we all used to sit around when I was little. It was an old oak table, which would last forever so long as you looked after it. There were small chips here and there - some I remember even making accidentally over the years - but it was otherwise in good shape, and full of memories.

  We were chatting for a little while, just making small talk until my mother circled around back to asking about 'the guy'.

  "Mum!" I said, squirming. "I don't want to talk about it!"

  "Why not?" She asked, looking shocked. "Why have you always got to keep so many secrets?"

  I shrugged my shoulders, looking down into my mug for a long moment. "I dunno. I guess because it's so early."

  "How early?" She asked me.

  I looked up at her then rolled my eyes pointedly. "Like, our first date..." I said.

  "And will you be going on a second one?" She asked, too quickly.

  "Mum!" I groaned.

  "What?" She asked, "A mother can ask."

  "Why does it matter? You already have your precious grandchild!" I complained.

  My mother's eyes were sad as she looked into my own. "Now, you know it's not that." She told me.

  "What do you mean?" I asked, "why else would I need a man in my life?"

  My mother let out a dramatic sigh as she told me, "you know perfectly well why would would need a man in your life. You have a son. Your son needs to have a male role model, someone to look up to." She told me.

  "You're kidding, right?" I asked, feeling shocked. I had never heard my mother say this before. Not since I had become a single parent. She had always been quick to tell me that Chris had other men in his life to look up to, one of which was his grandfather who he was playing trains with as we spoke.

  "No, I am not." She told me, "he is not going to be small forever. Chris is going to need someone to talk to when he reaches puberty, someone to talk to about girls." My mother told me.

  "Someone to talk to? Mum, he has you, and me, and his grandfather." I said motioning towards the closed door where I could still make out train whistling and laughter.

  "Your father was young a long time ago, he's probably forgotten too much to be useful to Chris." She told me, "we're not going to be around forever, either. You know. Who will look after you when we're gone?" She asked.

  Her question wrangled. She was right. I did need someone to look after me. I could feel it in my bones, but there was more to it than I wanted to admit to my mother. So I just nodded and changed the subject.

  For the rest of the evening, we didn't talk once about my date or my finding a new male role model for my son. We had plenty of other things to talk about to keep us off the topic. When it was time to leave, my son was tired as I loaded him into the car and we said goodbye. We only spoke for a few moments on the way home before he was asleep in the back and I was alone with my thoughts.

  There is something else, I kept thinking. There was more to this.

  As we pulled into the front driveway I thought about it, and how I would bring this up with Rick. Weighing thoughts inside my head, I considered the best way to reveal my secret, but didn't have long to think about it before I had to shuffle my child into the house and do all the domestic duties before finally crawling into bed late at night and going to sleep. A new week started tomorrow, and I wouldn't have long to sit with my thoughts once it did.

  Before I drifted off to sleep, I thought about Rick's kisses, how wonderful they were and wondered how long it would be until I could steal more kisses again. I wondered at just how this guy and I would get on in the future. The future, indeed, looked bright.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  I woke up on Monday morning from a strange dream. In the dream I was traveling around the world, watching little people - the people referred to as 'midgets' in the politically incorrect circles - wrestle.

  In my dream, I was telling the man beside me that this was normal in the place we were.

  "Really? Midget wrestling is ever normal?" The person asked.

  I turned to see Rick's face, surprised at the spectacle and told him that yes, it's totally normal. But, only inside these circles. He nodded along, like a spectator at a rodeo, someone who had never seen these things before, and someone who thought they never would.

  "Come with me!" I declared, pulling Rick down the path of what looked like the average developing world slum in the movies. We walked down the slum path until we found a little shanty where they were offering cheap piercings. I sat down and had my lip pierced in three different places with cheap hanging ear rings in the studs, rather than proper piercing jewelry. It must have looked silly, and it made it impossible to talk.

  When Rick turned to me and asked me how I was feeling, I couldn't talk past the metal in my mouth. I simply uttered something. He looked confused and politely asked me to repeat myself. I sort of shrugged my shoulders and tried again.

  "What are you trying to tell me?" He was asking me, his voice in turns frustrated because he couldn't understand and empathetic, because he really did seem to want to understand what I was trying to say.

  The words - "what are you trying to tell me?" - reverberated in my brain as I got up and tried to start my day as I normally would. Domestic, motherly duties called as my son called out to me from his room, "what did you do with my socks?" I realized he must be already up and getting ready, putting on the clothes I had laid out for him.

  "They're in the washing basket. Just a second!" I called, switching gears without so much as my morning coffee.

  That morning was more difficult than most Mondays to get my son up and ready for school. It took a lot of cajoling to get everything to run smoothly so by the time I arrived at the cafe just five minutes late, there was already three of the school mums waiting out the front for me.

  "Sorry ladies!" I called as I unlocked the front door. "Your coffees will be ready soon, don't worry!"

  The mums nodded, hardly looking up from their phones.

  "Tabatha, cappuccino, two sugars?" I asked and got a nod.

  "Jackie and Angela - lattes, no sugar?" I asked and both murmured their agreement without looking up from their phones for even an instant.

  I got to work warming up the coffee machine, taking money and making the orders, half way through all this interrupted by about a half a dozen other school mums. It was a good thing I was well used to this sort of work or I would have lost my mind under the pressure of it all.

  As was quickly becoming the usual, Sophie appeared right at the end of the rush to help me get ready for lunch, and as usual, Rick showed up for his coffee, although now that he had asked me out and we'd had that date, he didn't have to pretend he was just here for the coffee anymore.

  "I've been thinking about you." He told me as I got his coffee ready.

  "Have you?" I asked.

  "Yeah, I have." His smile was warm and honest. It made me melt a little to see it.

  "What have you been thinking?" I asked, and the wicked grin he showed me told me that his thoughts hadn't been clean. They certainly wouldn't be safe for work discussion.

  "Oh." I said, feeling the color rise in my cheeks. "That's what you've been thinking."

  "Not just that." He was quick to tell me, "other things too." And there was a softness in his eyes as he spoke the words.

  "Right." I said, nodding and handing over his coffee. He went to reach for his wallet and checking that Sophie wasn't in hearing distance, I told him, "Don't worry. It's on the house."

  He smiled and told me, "well, I guess I am going to have to take you out again as a thank you for giving me that on the house."

  "Yeah?" I asked, my eyebrow raised.

  "Yeah. When are you free next?" He asked and I sighed a little.

  "I don't get much free time." I confessed, "Chris spends most of his time with me when he's not at school and I'm not here."

  "Oh." Rick said, "We could take him out too, if you like? Go somewhere kid friendly?"

  "No, no. I am not ready to tell him I am dating his principal yet." I said, averting my eyes. Feeling pretty bad about the whole thing.

  "Oh. Fair enough then." Rick said, seeming glued to the spot. "Well, let me know." He said before turning and taking off.

  I looked behind him as he left, feeling sad that I couldn't give him an answer which would make him happy. I so wanted to make him happy, but I couldn't just say yes, sure, whatever you like principal. I'll just tell my son that we're seeing each other even though it's only been one date and it's too early for us to really know if this will go anywhere.

  I shook it off though, and kept working. My day was too busy to spend much time pondering personal matters.

  #

  Aside from my odd dream, that whole week seemed to go by without much notice on my side. Each day was much the same on the gentle march towards the weekend. Hectic and tiring, I crawled into my bed alone each night, thinking of Rick. But he didn't call, and I was never in the mood to call him. I felt like if he wanted to talk, he knew what my number was, I didn't want to come off as too interested after all. He would make that call.

  I had precious little time for personal phone calls anyway I reasoned. I had had to say goodbye to Sara over the phone - something I didn't want to do as she was going away for a whole year - because of clashing schedules. Even though she only lived a few streets away, she was busy with getting ready to move and saying goodbye to everyone and I was busy being the over worked single parent.

  The days since I had seen Rick drew on and turned into a week, then two weeks passed before I realized that there was some significance in this not calling and at the end of the tether, made the call myself.

  "Hello?" Said the sexy baritone voice of Rick down the phone line. I had called him on his mobile. He would know who it was.

  "Hey, just calling because I haven't seen you in the cafe for a while. Wanted to check everything was alright your end?" I asked.

  Silence. A beat. Two.

  "Yeah, things are okay my end." He said in a voice that sounded strange. Like he was smiling down the phone, but like he didn't want me to know that he was.

  "Are you sure?" I asked.

  "Yes, of course." He told me, "are you okay?"

  The question felt weighty. I wondered if he wasn't asking me if I was crazy.

  "Yes. I am okay." I finally said, feeling a little put out.

  "Good." He said.

  More silence. The silence was annoying me now.

  "Look. I feel as though I have done something wrong here. Everything was great. We had our date, we were enjoying one another's company. All was good. We were going to do it again, then what happened?" I asked.

  "What do you mean, then what happened?" He asked, "you didn't want to go on another date."

  "What?" I asked, frustrated. "Why would I not want to go on another date with you? You're wonderful!"

  "Am I?" He asked, "You didn't seem to think so."

  "You're kidding, right?" I asked, frustrated as hell now. What was this guy playing at?

  "No I am not. I asked you when you were free - oh, I'm sorry. Look, I have been busy and have not had time to come see you. I want to go out again, if you do." He said.

  "I want to go out again." I finally answered, then before I could stop them the words were coming out of my mouth, "there's a couple things I have to talk to you about, anyway."

  "Sure." He agreed. "When are you free then?"

  I took a long moment to answer as I weighed up his voice. I didn't want to tell him I was free some time in the distant future, because he was already losing interest now. Plus I did really like him and have a couple of things I wanted to float past him, as a way of both seeing if he was interested in them, and seeing if we were compatible on a wider scale.

  "Could we do late lunch? I can wrangle some time in the early afternoon for a break, and we could have lunch somewhere in town." I told him.

  "Sure." He said, his voice a little lighter now. "Tomorrow?" He asked.

  Doing some quick math in my head - tomorrow was a Tuesday, Tuesday's aren't usually very busy - I guessed, "About two PM, what do you think?"

  "Sounds good. I'll drop by the cafe?" He asked.

  "Sounds good!" I told him.

  "Great, see you then." He told me before saying his goodbyes and hanging up.

  I felt nervous at the thought of tomorrow's date, and a little annoyed at Rick for being a bit temperamental about the organizing of a second date, but dismissed it. I could have offered a lunch date as an alternative earlier I reasoned.

  Tomorrow, I would have a little chat with him to see if we were really compatible or if perhaps the hot principal was not quiet the right guy for me.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  The next day passed in a rush of parental and managerial responsibilities and it was midday before I knew it.

  "Sophie, we have to discuss breaks." I told her, "I am taking mine today at two, can you take yours before that? Or would you prefer to have a break after?"

  Two PM was the end of the lunch rush, and we both tended to take our breaks a little later. Sophie did a little double take before she considered the new piece of information. Did she want to have a break at 1.30PM? Or 2.30PM? I tried not to roll my eyes at this, as she was still new and everything about working life would be a novelty for her for some time yet.

  "I'll go after you." She told me.

  "Cool." I said with a smile, hesitating then deciding not to tell her that I would be taking my break with Rick. I was excited, and keeping my mouth shut was hard. Regardless, she would realize that on her own soon enough.

  "Thinking about it though, maybe you should go before me?" I said it like it was a question, but being Sophie's manager, I knew she wouldn't take it that way.

  "Sure!" She said, agreeing to whatever I had to say.

  More time with Rick, I thought to myself. I would feel awful if I was back late from lunch and Sophie was starving. Serving coffees and food, all the while waiting for her own lunch break.

  Rick himself was there just two hours later, smiling his own gorgeous smile and holding up a cooler bag as he asked, "ready to go?"

  I looked around the cafe pointedly before smiling at him. "That I am."

  He offered his arm and I rested my hand in the crook of his elbow. As we walked past Sophie, I tried not to giggle at the shocked look on her face.

  "I thought we could have a picnic, it's a nice day." Rick told me, by way of explaining why he had a cooler bag. He was right to decide on a picnic for our second date though. The sky was clear and the sun was shining down on us giving warmth but not biting our skin, it wouldn't burn us. I was glad then that I had made Sophie take her break before me.

  We walked down the hill and crossed the river, this time going to the park on the right hand side of the road where there was picnic tables.

  Crossing the park for the tables, the two of us found one that was partly in shade and Rick started unpacking his cooler bag. He'd obviously been to the deli to get this wonderful antipasto spread.

  The two of us sat there and had our lunch, smiling at one another as the easy conversation flowed. First past the pleasantries, then on to how great it was to see one another again before I told Rick how I really felt about this second date.

  "I am so sorry!" I said, "I hadn't thought of lunch dates. I don't know why not, they're such a good idea! A date where we can spend some time together without disrupting the routine of my little guy." I told him.

  "Yes, well. We all make mistakes I guess." Rick told me, his face impassive.

  I nodded. "Oh well. We can make this a regular thing if it suits us later I guess."

  Rick nodded right back at me. "You said you had something you wanted to talk about?" He asked, bringing up the thing I had been thinking about for the longest time.

  "I guess the thing I have to talk about is more, a preference I have. I sort of can't date a guy who doesn't get it. You don't have to participate, but I don't want to hide it from you either." I told him, stopping to look him in the eye, and give him a chance to back out if he wasn't that into me or whatever. I really wanted to take that chance myself. I was so nervous my hands were shaking. I wanted to be with Rick, but I didn't want to have the be this vulnerable to be with him.

  "A preference?" He asked.

  "Yeah, a preference." I told him.

  "What is it?" He asked, and I swallowed the lump in my throat.

  "Well, after Chris's dad left, I went through this sort of phase, where I was trying all different stuff, and trying out all these things that I had been fantasizing about for ages." I told him.

  "Right." He agreed, and I could tell by the look on his face that he was bracing himself for something truly weird.

  "It's not bad." I rushed to reassure him. "It's quite common, really. If all the Internet research I have been doing tells me anything at all."

  "Internet research?" He asked, his face looking more confused by the moment. I realized he had stopped eating and was just sitting there, staring at me. Waiting for me to cough up whatever it was I was trying to say and failing at.

  "Yeah, Internet research." I told him. "There's a lot on the Internet about it."

  "What is 'it'?" He asked, and I regretted not finding another way to talk about this, or not leaving it later. But I knew I didn't want to leave this conversation for later. If you leave things for later, they never get done and I wanted this guy to know me, to see me - all of me - now so if he decided there was something he really didn't like, well, he could make that decision up front and I would have a better chance to really deal with it.